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The Best Girl Scout Cookies Ever, Ranking

The Best Girl Scout Cookies Ever, Ranking


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From the Mango Crème to the Thin Mint

ID 39838500 © Robhainer | Dreamstime.com

The Best Girl Scout Cookies Ever, Ranking

Courtesy of The Girl Scouts of the USA

If there’s one thing that the Girl Scouts of the USA are most known for, it’s their cookies. Sure, these organizations build character and confidence in young woman nationwide, but the average Joe knows that they build pantries full of delicious treats. Girl Scout cookies have a storied history with over 50 cookies previously and presently available. For every iconic, longstanding cookie like the Thin Mint and the Do-Si-Do, there’ve been plenty of flash-in-the-pan, forgotten, and weirdly trendy cookies.

It’s impossible to actually rank all of them, because some were so short-lived, so unmemorable that they’re left to the history books. So we took some of the most popular, most confounding, and most modern cookies and matched them up against one another. Remember 2013’s Mango Crèmes With Nutrifusion? How about the adorable Mango Crèmes? Golden Yangles? Kookaburra? No, well, you’re going to remember them with our definitive ranking of all the best, worst, and wackiest Girl Scout cookies, ever.

#20 Mango Crèmes

iStock.com/Boonchuay1970

Technically called Mango Crèmes With Nutrifusion, this short-lived cookie was available just during the 2013 Girl Scout season. While the mango flavor with hints of vanilla and coconut sounds fine enough, the confounding “Nutrifusion” included mushrooms and various fruit extracts to add vitamins to the cookie. But it was still, you know, a cookie, and not a superfood.

#19 Golden Yangles

ID 3767920 © Kenneth Mellott | Dreamstime.com

Sold in the ‘80s, this Girl Scout Cookie wasn’t even a cookie at all — it was a Cheddar cheese cracker. It’s nice to have a savory option for consumers, but come on, Girl Scouts sell cookies, not crackers.

#18 Apple Cinnamons

iStock.com/Konoplytska

Girl Scouts of America has jumped on many diet fads throughout its cookie-selling history, and in the ‘90s, it was all about low-fat foods. The best thing about these cookies? They were shaped like apples. But the flavor was lacking and they were far too crispy.

#17 Cinna-Spins/Daisy Go Rounds

iStock

Another diet trend: Low calorie, of course. In 2008, Cinna-Spins, a crispy cinnamon swirl cookie, were introduced. Instead of coming in a sleeve, the box contained five 100-calorie snack packs. Lame, right? The shape soon changed into the Girl Scout-approved daisy, but that cookie too fizzled out after just a few years.

#16 Trios/Toffee-tastic

Courtesy of The Girl Scouts of the USA

In the modern era, Girl Scouts have started to offer gluten-free cookies: The buttery Toffee-tastic and the peanut butter oatmeal cookie Trios. While great for those who suffer from celiac disease, like many gluten-free baked goods, these cookies are dense and crumbly. And despite what some may tell you, being gluten-free isn’t always the healthiest choice.

#15 Peanut Butter Sandwich/Do-si-dos

Courtesy of The Girl Scouts of the USA

Peanut Butter Sandwiches (ABC)/Do-si-dos (Little Brownies) are one of the three required cookies that all Girl Scout markets must sell (along with Thin Mints and Trefoils). But these are pretty lame and tame. For peanut butter lovers, sure, they’re a delight. But for the rest of us, pass.

#14 Girl Scout S’mores

Courtesy of Girl Scouts of the USA

What are Girl Scouts known for almost as much as their cookies? Going camping, of course! The Girl Scout S’more is an ode to the campfire. Depending on your cookie distributor, this graham cracker cookie is either dipped in crème icing with a chocolate coat or is a sandwich with chocolate and marshmallow filling. Either way, it’s an expected and pleasant combination and has proven popular since it launched in 2017.

#13 Dulce De Leche

iStock.com/portishead1

During their six-year run from 2009 to 2014, the Dulce de Leche, a crunchy, caramel chip cookie was truly scrumptious. Caramel is one of the most beloved sweet flavors, so it’s a wonder why these were discontinued, but that’s just the way the cookie crumbles…

#12 Lemonades

Courtesy of The Girl Scouts of the USA

Throughout its history, Girl Scouts have made eight different lemon cookies. Today, they offer Lemonades and Savannah Smiles. The Lemonade, a fruity crisp cookie with a touch of lemon icing on one side, is light, refreshing, and not too sweet. Oh, and surprise! These cookies are vegan!

#11 Savannah Smiles

Courtesy of The Girl Scouts of the USA

ABC Bakers make Lemonades, so if you’re in a Little Brownies Bakers market, your modern lemon cookie is the Savannah Smile. Unlike its ABC equivalent, this cookie is not vegan, but it is dusted in powdered sugar. And that’s always a win in our book.

#10 Shortbread/Trefoils

Courtesy of The Girl Scouts of the USA

Sure, there’s something to be said about a classic, simple cookie, and that’s what the Shortbread (ABC)/Trefoil (Little Brownies) is. But, admit it, this is the cookie you buy because it’s iconic and then you leave in the back of the cupboard while the superior cookies disappear in a matter of days.

#9 Scot-Teas

iStock.com/carminesalvatore

Introduced in the 1950s, this shortbread cookie was almost exactly like the melt-in-your-mouth Trefoil, but it had one major improvement: It was coated in sprinkled sugar. That simple innovation would be a welcome improvement to the modern shortbread offering, but this cookie is very much lost to Girl Scout history.

#8 Juliettes/Golden Nut Clusters

iStock.com/Brycia James

Named after the Girl Scouts’ founder, Juliette Low, this cookie tasted more like a chocolate turtle than a cookie. Featuring caramel, pecans, and milk chocolates, throughout the ‘80s and early ‘90s, these were a favorite cookie. Why did they disappear? We’ll never know, but they’re dearly missed.

#7 Lemon Chalet Cremes

iStock.com/hdagli

While today’s lemony Girl Scout cookies are pretty delicious, they don’t hold a candle to the Lemon Chalet Creme. Born in the ‘90s and discontinued for the Savannah Smile, this cookie was all lemon. Lemon cookie, tons of lemon icing. It tasted like summertime and happiness.

#6 Van’chos

iStock.com/Cenk1988

Chocolate sandwich cookie? Vanilla sandwich cookie? With Van’chos, you could have both. This assorted box was sold from 1974 to 1983 and was a true throwback cookie. The Girl Scouts have made numerous crème-based cookies throughout the years, but few are missed as dearly as this old-school treat.

#5 Kookaburra

iStock.com/AnthonyRosenberg

Crispy rice, marshmallows, caramel, and chocolate? It may sound like a dream, but at one time it was a Girl Scout cookie, the Kookaburra. The cookie was a fan favorite, despite only being available briefly in the 1980s. However, one fan made a copycat recipe, so you can try this treat at home for yourself.

#4 Thanks-A-Lot

Courtesy of The Girl Scouts of the USA

The shortbread cookie is so, so much better when it has an accompaniment along with it. These days, Girl Scouts offer up the vegan-friendly Thanks-A-Lot with a layer of chocolate on the bottom. It’s simple, not too sweet, and truly scrumptious. There’s not much else to say about this cookie except “Thank you” to the Girl Scouts for having an alternative to the beloved but boring Trefoil.

#3 Peanut Butter Patties/Tagalongs

Courtesy of The Girl Scouts of the USA

Tagalongs (Little Brownies)/Peanut Butter Patties (ABC) have been around since the 1960s, and it’s because they have two star ingredients young and old alike both love: Chocolate and peanut butter. This magical combination always works (look at the Reese’s), and it proves it again and again with this cookie.

#2 Thin Mints

Courtesy of Girl Scouts of the USA

Crispy, chocolaty, and full of fresh minty flavor, Thin Mints are Girl Scouts’ most popular cookie (and one of the three they are required to sell nationwide). Some may call this the adult’s Girl Scout cookie, but most just call it a true icon of the baking world. Often imitated and never replicated, true Thin Mint fans know the only way to keep these cookies around for more than 5 seconds is to store them in the freezer.

#1 Caramel deLites/Samoas

Courtesy of The Girl Scouts of the USA


I ate every kind of Girl Scout cookie and ranked them - so you don't have to

Girl Scout cookies are a brilliant enterprise in obligated indulgence, an economic model built upon a two-pronged plan of attack:

1) Melt the callous exterior of the unwitting consumer with the adorable faces of girl scouts.
2) Strike with a multi-dimensional cookie assault that's hard to pin down to one category.

In truth, there is no "best" Girl Scout cookie. Or rather, there really shouldn't be. The existential dilemma that comes with each and every cookie order stems from the fact that it's so hard to choose which cookies to get.

Sure, maybe Thin Mints or Samoas are your favorite. But you should probably get one more. Do-Si-Dos or Tagalongs? Aw hell, get both. Oh crap, what are Savannah Smiles? Are those new? Might as well get those while you're there.

Before you know what hit you, you've now purchased four boxes of cookies (containing the caloric capacity to feed a village in Chad for a week) that you're not really sure what to do with.

Well, you've already got the cookies, might as well eat them. And you've now become part of the Cookie Machine.

Girl Scout Cookies

The conventional Girl Scout Cookie batting order is thankful devoid of the standard chocolate chip and Oreo creme-style cookies (probably the two most popular types of cookies in the country), as they would ruin the widely accepted competitive balance.

There are many favorites, but little pure consensus when it comes to the Cookie Machine. That's because the cookies so often come with personal attachment, and begin to cross into that blurred line that separates "favorite" from "best."

It's that box of Samoas that mom brings home from the office -- half-eaten after a long day -- that she needs to pry herself away from, so she tosses them to the kids to finish off. It's that box of Tagalongs that you open on the kitchen table when your sister's not looking, not knowing that sheɽ already sold that box to the neighbor. It's those boxes of Thin Mints, year after year, that seemed endless, and always held a second sleeve.

More often than not, the "favorite" Girl Scout Cookie is also the original cookie for lots of folks, the one that they latched on to early and stayed loyal to.

It's with this in mind that, when it comes to Girl Scout Cookies, it rarely comes down to a discussion of which one is the tastiest. No one cares. It's about which cookie is best. It's not just any Girl Scout Cookie, it's your Girl Scout Cookie, and you will not sit idly when someone has the audacity to besmirch its cookie honor.

With that in mind, I will now commence the besmirchment.

So how do they rank?

7. Rah-Rah Raisin - OK, let's talk about this box. It's tiny, and gives you only one sleeve of cookies. Listen, Rah-Rah Raisin, if you're going to show up on the Girl Scout Cookie block trying to edge your way in as a cookie contender, you've gotta bring at least two sleeves, not this tiny pink box crap.

That's even before getting to the cookie itself. Oatmeal Raisin is a perfectly fine cookie that will always suffer from the fact that, from a distance, it can be mistaken as chocolate chip -- a superior cookie in every way.

In actually trying the cookie, you'll find that it's not as chewy as one would like in an oatmeal raisin, but still got some nice oat-y and raisin flavor. There's a crumbly texture kind of like a Chips Ahoy. It tastes very much like a boxed cookie.

Editor's note: They do kind of taste like drywall.

6, Trefoils - Here's the thing, the Trefoils are a decent cookie. They've got that buttery shortbread taste but not quite as crumbly. It's not as rich or sweet, as likely is preferred, but isn't quite as messy either.

Trefoils could be interesting, but they're not. They're the Mitt Romney of Girl Scout Cookies. There's not much to criticize about them. It's just really difficult to get super excited about a boring version of what's already a boring type of cookie.

5. Do-Si-Dos - These remind me of those cheap peanut butter cracker sandwiches, but sweeter. There's a nice patty of peanut butter inside, resulting in that thick ol' mess in your mouth, which to you is either a good or bad thing, depending on your peanut butter preferences.

Do-Si-Dos are pretty good, but have no replay value. With some cookies, you eat one and want to binge the hell out of them. I've rarely been compelled to gorge myself on Do-Si-Dos. They have a low ceiling, like listening to a Phillip Phillips song. Sure, it was nice that one time, but then you're never excited it hear "Home" again.

4. Savannah Smiles - I'm angry at this cookie, and not even because it's bad. I would actually prefer that this cookie could be terrible, just so I could throw them at my co-workers to annoy them.

I'm angry at this cookie like a teacher watching a talented student putz his or her way through school. "You could go to college, Savannah Smiles. You just need to apply yourself!"

At first glance, it looks like another cookie misfit. They're crunchy. They're covered in this dumb layer of powdered sugar. They also explode in your mouth like a bag of flour bursting open on the floor.

If you pop the whole thing in your mouth, contain the blast zone, and get past that lemony tartness, there's this really nice lemon/citrus/buttery sweetness that makes you want to grab another one. And then your hands get coated in powdered sugar again.

3. Samoas - Oh Samoas, we'll forever be at odds.

The texture of this cookie is the best, with the caramel chewiness holding it all together, that nice chocolate sweetness, that crunch -- good stuff.

But then there's that coconut. I hate coconut. I don't understand the appeal. It's like Pitbull: It comes from the tropics, shows up in random places where it doesn't belong and ruins otherwise decent music/cookies (OK fine, there was no saving "Timber.")

However, Samoas gets a solid bump because I know I'm weird on coconut. If you like coconut, then this is your cookie. However, that doesn't excuse the fact that you only get 15 in a box.

2. Tagalongs - It is here that all logic goes out the window. I stand here ready to defend Tagalongs to the bitter end. I feel the same way about Tagalongs that I do about Taco Bell. Is it great? No. Is it good? In spots. How do I respond to people that talk smack about it? Fisticuffs.

Tagalongs are OK. The chocolate is actually pretty weak, with the peanut butter taking everything over, very rich and chewy once the full thing gets going.

But it's not the taste that makes these great, it's the texture and open-ended nature of the cookie.

The dual-layered soft-crunchy texture makes this the Cheesy Gordita Crunch of cookies. I'm a sucker for things that have a crunchy thing wrapped inside of a soft thing. It's the reason that I'm such a proponent of the toast sandwich. That peanut butter-to-cookie crunch is divine.

Eating a Tagalong is a lot like eating a Pop-Tart or Reese's Peanut Butter Cup, open for interpretation and creativity (I eat Pop-Tarts like a crazy person). It's like a cookie Rorshach Test. Do you just bite down on it? Do you try to isolate the peanut butter warhead from the rest of the chocolate covered package? Does the peanut butter go on top or on the bottom when you bite down? (The bottom. Always the bottom.) Tagalongs are a cookie playground.

1. Thin Mints - There's no touching the flavor of Thin Mints, with that cool chocolate/mint flavor (like an Andes mint) on point. Thin Mints also have the best texture, short of Samoa, with the body of the cookie being made up of a million little layers, resulting in an awesome wafery flakiness.

Those are great. But what makes Thin Mints the greatest cookie is the staying power. After you eat one Samoa or Tagalong, you need to stay mindful of the box's 15-cookie capacity. For Thin Mints, there's always that extra sleeve.

Thin Mints are meant to be gorged. I don't have the box on me, but I'm pretty sure a serving size is "one tower of cookies." Eating other cookies is nice. Eating Thin Mints is an escape, a trip into your personal chocolate-and-mint Narnia.

Afterglow

Have you ever been properly satisfied with the amount of Girl Scout Cookies you've eaten? Me neither. Afterglow grade: One Hungry Hungry Hippos commercial.

The Final Word

When my bias against coconut became open knowledge in the office, my cookie-ranking credentials were immediately called into question (I'm surprised it took so long). As a result, we opened it up to an office poll (more on that in a bit).

Note to readers: if you purchase something through one of our affiliate links we may earn a commission.


I ate every kind of Girl Scout cookie and ranked them - so you don't have to

Girl Scout cookies are a brilliant enterprise in obligated indulgence, an economic model built upon a two-pronged plan of attack:

1) Melt the callous exterior of the unwitting consumer with the adorable faces of girl scouts.
2) Strike with a multi-dimensional cookie assault that's hard to pin down to one category.

In truth, there is no "best" Girl Scout cookie. Or rather, there really shouldn't be. The existential dilemma that comes with each and every cookie order stems from the fact that it's so hard to choose which cookies to get.

Sure, maybe Thin Mints or Samoas are your favorite. But you should probably get one more. Do-Si-Dos or Tagalongs? Aw hell, get both. Oh crap, what are Savannah Smiles? Are those new? Might as well get those while you're there.

Before you know what hit you, you've now purchased four boxes of cookies (containing the caloric capacity to feed a village in Chad for a week) that you're not really sure what to do with.

Well, you've already got the cookies, might as well eat them. And you've now become part of the Cookie Machine.

Girl Scout Cookies

The conventional Girl Scout Cookie batting order is thankful devoid of the standard chocolate chip and Oreo creme-style cookies (probably the two most popular types of cookies in the country), as they would ruin the widely accepted competitive balance.

There are many favorites, but little pure consensus when it comes to the Cookie Machine. That's because the cookies so often come with personal attachment, and begin to cross into that blurred line that separates "favorite" from "best."

It's that box of Samoas that mom brings home from the office -- half-eaten after a long day -- that she needs to pry herself away from, so she tosses them to the kids to finish off. It's that box of Tagalongs that you open on the kitchen table when your sister's not looking, not knowing that sheɽ already sold that box to the neighbor. It's those boxes of Thin Mints, year after year, that seemed endless, and always held a second sleeve.

More often than not, the "favorite" Girl Scout Cookie is also the original cookie for lots of folks, the one that they latched on to early and stayed loyal to.

It's with this in mind that, when it comes to Girl Scout Cookies, it rarely comes down to a discussion of which one is the tastiest. No one cares. It's about which cookie is best. It's not just any Girl Scout Cookie, it's your Girl Scout Cookie, and you will not sit idly when someone has the audacity to besmirch its cookie honor.

With that in mind, I will now commence the besmirchment.

So how do they rank?

7. Rah-Rah Raisin - OK, let's talk about this box. It's tiny, and gives you only one sleeve of cookies. Listen, Rah-Rah Raisin, if you're going to show up on the Girl Scout Cookie block trying to edge your way in as a cookie contender, you've gotta bring at least two sleeves, not this tiny pink box crap.

That's even before getting to the cookie itself. Oatmeal Raisin is a perfectly fine cookie that will always suffer from the fact that, from a distance, it can be mistaken as chocolate chip -- a superior cookie in every way.

In actually trying the cookie, you'll find that it's not as chewy as one would like in an oatmeal raisin, but still got some nice oat-y and raisin flavor. There's a crumbly texture kind of like a Chips Ahoy. It tastes very much like a boxed cookie.

Editor's note: They do kind of taste like drywall.

6, Trefoils - Here's the thing, the Trefoils are a decent cookie. They've got that buttery shortbread taste but not quite as crumbly. It's not as rich or sweet, as likely is preferred, but isn't quite as messy either.

Trefoils could be interesting, but they're not. They're the Mitt Romney of Girl Scout Cookies. There's not much to criticize about them. It's just really difficult to get super excited about a boring version of what's already a boring type of cookie.

5. Do-Si-Dos - These remind me of those cheap peanut butter cracker sandwiches, but sweeter. There's a nice patty of peanut butter inside, resulting in that thick ol' mess in your mouth, which to you is either a good or bad thing, depending on your peanut butter preferences.

Do-Si-Dos are pretty good, but have no replay value. With some cookies, you eat one and want to binge the hell out of them. I've rarely been compelled to gorge myself on Do-Si-Dos. They have a low ceiling, like listening to a Phillip Phillips song. Sure, it was nice that one time, but then you're never excited it hear "Home" again.

4. Savannah Smiles - I'm angry at this cookie, and not even because it's bad. I would actually prefer that this cookie could be terrible, just so I could throw them at my co-workers to annoy them.

I'm angry at this cookie like a teacher watching a talented student putz his or her way through school. "You could go to college, Savannah Smiles. You just need to apply yourself!"

At first glance, it looks like another cookie misfit. They're crunchy. They're covered in this dumb layer of powdered sugar. They also explode in your mouth like a bag of flour bursting open on the floor.

If you pop the whole thing in your mouth, contain the blast zone, and get past that lemony tartness, there's this really nice lemon/citrus/buttery sweetness that makes you want to grab another one. And then your hands get coated in powdered sugar again.

3. Samoas - Oh Samoas, we'll forever be at odds.

The texture of this cookie is the best, with the caramel chewiness holding it all together, that nice chocolate sweetness, that crunch -- good stuff.

But then there's that coconut. I hate coconut. I don't understand the appeal. It's like Pitbull: It comes from the tropics, shows up in random places where it doesn't belong and ruins otherwise decent music/cookies (OK fine, there was no saving "Timber.")

However, Samoas gets a solid bump because I know I'm weird on coconut. If you like coconut, then this is your cookie. However, that doesn't excuse the fact that you only get 15 in a box.

2. Tagalongs - It is here that all logic goes out the window. I stand here ready to defend Tagalongs to the bitter end. I feel the same way about Tagalongs that I do about Taco Bell. Is it great? No. Is it good? In spots. How do I respond to people that talk smack about it? Fisticuffs.

Tagalongs are OK. The chocolate is actually pretty weak, with the peanut butter taking everything over, very rich and chewy once the full thing gets going.

But it's not the taste that makes these great, it's the texture and open-ended nature of the cookie.

The dual-layered soft-crunchy texture makes this the Cheesy Gordita Crunch of cookies. I'm a sucker for things that have a crunchy thing wrapped inside of a soft thing. It's the reason that I'm such a proponent of the toast sandwich. That peanut butter-to-cookie crunch is divine.

Eating a Tagalong is a lot like eating a Pop-Tart or Reese's Peanut Butter Cup, open for interpretation and creativity (I eat Pop-Tarts like a crazy person). It's like a cookie Rorshach Test. Do you just bite down on it? Do you try to isolate the peanut butter warhead from the rest of the chocolate covered package? Does the peanut butter go on top or on the bottom when you bite down? (The bottom. Always the bottom.) Tagalongs are a cookie playground.

1. Thin Mints - There's no touching the flavor of Thin Mints, with that cool chocolate/mint flavor (like an Andes mint) on point. Thin Mints also have the best texture, short of Samoa, with the body of the cookie being made up of a million little layers, resulting in an awesome wafery flakiness.

Those are great. But what makes Thin Mints the greatest cookie is the staying power. After you eat one Samoa or Tagalong, you need to stay mindful of the box's 15-cookie capacity. For Thin Mints, there's always that extra sleeve.

Thin Mints are meant to be gorged. I don't have the box on me, but I'm pretty sure a serving size is "one tower of cookies." Eating other cookies is nice. Eating Thin Mints is an escape, a trip into your personal chocolate-and-mint Narnia.

Afterglow

Have you ever been properly satisfied with the amount of Girl Scout Cookies you've eaten? Me neither. Afterglow grade: One Hungry Hungry Hippos commercial.

The Final Word

When my bias against coconut became open knowledge in the office, my cookie-ranking credentials were immediately called into question (I'm surprised it took so long). As a result, we opened it up to an office poll (more on that in a bit).

Note to readers: if you purchase something through one of our affiliate links we may earn a commission.


I ate every kind of Girl Scout cookie and ranked them - so you don't have to

Girl Scout cookies are a brilliant enterprise in obligated indulgence, an economic model built upon a two-pronged plan of attack:

1) Melt the callous exterior of the unwitting consumer with the adorable faces of girl scouts.
2) Strike with a multi-dimensional cookie assault that's hard to pin down to one category.

In truth, there is no "best" Girl Scout cookie. Or rather, there really shouldn't be. The existential dilemma that comes with each and every cookie order stems from the fact that it's so hard to choose which cookies to get.

Sure, maybe Thin Mints or Samoas are your favorite. But you should probably get one more. Do-Si-Dos or Tagalongs? Aw hell, get both. Oh crap, what are Savannah Smiles? Are those new? Might as well get those while you're there.

Before you know what hit you, you've now purchased four boxes of cookies (containing the caloric capacity to feed a village in Chad for a week) that you're not really sure what to do with.

Well, you've already got the cookies, might as well eat them. And you've now become part of the Cookie Machine.

Girl Scout Cookies

The conventional Girl Scout Cookie batting order is thankful devoid of the standard chocolate chip and Oreo creme-style cookies (probably the two most popular types of cookies in the country), as they would ruin the widely accepted competitive balance.

There are many favorites, but little pure consensus when it comes to the Cookie Machine. That's because the cookies so often come with personal attachment, and begin to cross into that blurred line that separates "favorite" from "best."

It's that box of Samoas that mom brings home from the office -- half-eaten after a long day -- that she needs to pry herself away from, so she tosses them to the kids to finish off. It's that box of Tagalongs that you open on the kitchen table when your sister's not looking, not knowing that sheɽ already sold that box to the neighbor. It's those boxes of Thin Mints, year after year, that seemed endless, and always held a second sleeve.

More often than not, the "favorite" Girl Scout Cookie is also the original cookie for lots of folks, the one that they latched on to early and stayed loyal to.

It's with this in mind that, when it comes to Girl Scout Cookies, it rarely comes down to a discussion of which one is the tastiest. No one cares. It's about which cookie is best. It's not just any Girl Scout Cookie, it's your Girl Scout Cookie, and you will not sit idly when someone has the audacity to besmirch its cookie honor.

With that in mind, I will now commence the besmirchment.

So how do they rank?

7. Rah-Rah Raisin - OK, let's talk about this box. It's tiny, and gives you only one sleeve of cookies. Listen, Rah-Rah Raisin, if you're going to show up on the Girl Scout Cookie block trying to edge your way in as a cookie contender, you've gotta bring at least two sleeves, not this tiny pink box crap.

That's even before getting to the cookie itself. Oatmeal Raisin is a perfectly fine cookie that will always suffer from the fact that, from a distance, it can be mistaken as chocolate chip -- a superior cookie in every way.

In actually trying the cookie, you'll find that it's not as chewy as one would like in an oatmeal raisin, but still got some nice oat-y and raisin flavor. There's a crumbly texture kind of like a Chips Ahoy. It tastes very much like a boxed cookie.

Editor's note: They do kind of taste like drywall.

6, Trefoils - Here's the thing, the Trefoils are a decent cookie. They've got that buttery shortbread taste but not quite as crumbly. It's not as rich or sweet, as likely is preferred, but isn't quite as messy either.

Trefoils could be interesting, but they're not. They're the Mitt Romney of Girl Scout Cookies. There's not much to criticize about them. It's just really difficult to get super excited about a boring version of what's already a boring type of cookie.

5. Do-Si-Dos - These remind me of those cheap peanut butter cracker sandwiches, but sweeter. There's a nice patty of peanut butter inside, resulting in that thick ol' mess in your mouth, which to you is either a good or bad thing, depending on your peanut butter preferences.

Do-Si-Dos are pretty good, but have no replay value. With some cookies, you eat one and want to binge the hell out of them. I've rarely been compelled to gorge myself on Do-Si-Dos. They have a low ceiling, like listening to a Phillip Phillips song. Sure, it was nice that one time, but then you're never excited it hear "Home" again.

4. Savannah Smiles - I'm angry at this cookie, and not even because it's bad. I would actually prefer that this cookie could be terrible, just so I could throw them at my co-workers to annoy them.

I'm angry at this cookie like a teacher watching a talented student putz his or her way through school. "You could go to college, Savannah Smiles. You just need to apply yourself!"

At first glance, it looks like another cookie misfit. They're crunchy. They're covered in this dumb layer of powdered sugar. They also explode in your mouth like a bag of flour bursting open on the floor.

If you pop the whole thing in your mouth, contain the blast zone, and get past that lemony tartness, there's this really nice lemon/citrus/buttery sweetness that makes you want to grab another one. And then your hands get coated in powdered sugar again.

3. Samoas - Oh Samoas, we'll forever be at odds.

The texture of this cookie is the best, with the caramel chewiness holding it all together, that nice chocolate sweetness, that crunch -- good stuff.

But then there's that coconut. I hate coconut. I don't understand the appeal. It's like Pitbull: It comes from the tropics, shows up in random places where it doesn't belong and ruins otherwise decent music/cookies (OK fine, there was no saving "Timber.")

However, Samoas gets a solid bump because I know I'm weird on coconut. If you like coconut, then this is your cookie. However, that doesn't excuse the fact that you only get 15 in a box.

2. Tagalongs - It is here that all logic goes out the window. I stand here ready to defend Tagalongs to the bitter end. I feel the same way about Tagalongs that I do about Taco Bell. Is it great? No. Is it good? In spots. How do I respond to people that talk smack about it? Fisticuffs.

Tagalongs are OK. The chocolate is actually pretty weak, with the peanut butter taking everything over, very rich and chewy once the full thing gets going.

But it's not the taste that makes these great, it's the texture and open-ended nature of the cookie.

The dual-layered soft-crunchy texture makes this the Cheesy Gordita Crunch of cookies. I'm a sucker for things that have a crunchy thing wrapped inside of a soft thing. It's the reason that I'm such a proponent of the toast sandwich. That peanut butter-to-cookie crunch is divine.

Eating a Tagalong is a lot like eating a Pop-Tart or Reese's Peanut Butter Cup, open for interpretation and creativity (I eat Pop-Tarts like a crazy person). It's like a cookie Rorshach Test. Do you just bite down on it? Do you try to isolate the peanut butter warhead from the rest of the chocolate covered package? Does the peanut butter go on top or on the bottom when you bite down? (The bottom. Always the bottom.) Tagalongs are a cookie playground.

1. Thin Mints - There's no touching the flavor of Thin Mints, with that cool chocolate/mint flavor (like an Andes mint) on point. Thin Mints also have the best texture, short of Samoa, with the body of the cookie being made up of a million little layers, resulting in an awesome wafery flakiness.

Those are great. But what makes Thin Mints the greatest cookie is the staying power. After you eat one Samoa or Tagalong, you need to stay mindful of the box's 15-cookie capacity. For Thin Mints, there's always that extra sleeve.

Thin Mints are meant to be gorged. I don't have the box on me, but I'm pretty sure a serving size is "one tower of cookies." Eating other cookies is nice. Eating Thin Mints is an escape, a trip into your personal chocolate-and-mint Narnia.

Afterglow

Have you ever been properly satisfied with the amount of Girl Scout Cookies you've eaten? Me neither. Afterglow grade: One Hungry Hungry Hippos commercial.

The Final Word

When my bias against coconut became open knowledge in the office, my cookie-ranking credentials were immediately called into question (I'm surprised it took so long). As a result, we opened it up to an office poll (more on that in a bit).

Note to readers: if you purchase something through one of our affiliate links we may earn a commission.


I ate every kind of Girl Scout cookie and ranked them - so you don't have to

Girl Scout cookies are a brilliant enterprise in obligated indulgence, an economic model built upon a two-pronged plan of attack:

1) Melt the callous exterior of the unwitting consumer with the adorable faces of girl scouts.
2) Strike with a multi-dimensional cookie assault that's hard to pin down to one category.

In truth, there is no "best" Girl Scout cookie. Or rather, there really shouldn't be. The existential dilemma that comes with each and every cookie order stems from the fact that it's so hard to choose which cookies to get.

Sure, maybe Thin Mints or Samoas are your favorite. But you should probably get one more. Do-Si-Dos or Tagalongs? Aw hell, get both. Oh crap, what are Savannah Smiles? Are those new? Might as well get those while you're there.

Before you know what hit you, you've now purchased four boxes of cookies (containing the caloric capacity to feed a village in Chad for a week) that you're not really sure what to do with.

Well, you've already got the cookies, might as well eat them. And you've now become part of the Cookie Machine.

Girl Scout Cookies

The conventional Girl Scout Cookie batting order is thankful devoid of the standard chocolate chip and Oreo creme-style cookies (probably the two most popular types of cookies in the country), as they would ruin the widely accepted competitive balance.

There are many favorites, but little pure consensus when it comes to the Cookie Machine. That's because the cookies so often come with personal attachment, and begin to cross into that blurred line that separates "favorite" from "best."

It's that box of Samoas that mom brings home from the office -- half-eaten after a long day -- that she needs to pry herself away from, so she tosses them to the kids to finish off. It's that box of Tagalongs that you open on the kitchen table when your sister's not looking, not knowing that sheɽ already sold that box to the neighbor. It's those boxes of Thin Mints, year after year, that seemed endless, and always held a second sleeve.

More often than not, the "favorite" Girl Scout Cookie is also the original cookie for lots of folks, the one that they latched on to early and stayed loyal to.

It's with this in mind that, when it comes to Girl Scout Cookies, it rarely comes down to a discussion of which one is the tastiest. No one cares. It's about which cookie is best. It's not just any Girl Scout Cookie, it's your Girl Scout Cookie, and you will not sit idly when someone has the audacity to besmirch its cookie honor.

With that in mind, I will now commence the besmirchment.

So how do they rank?

7. Rah-Rah Raisin - OK, let's talk about this box. It's tiny, and gives you only one sleeve of cookies. Listen, Rah-Rah Raisin, if you're going to show up on the Girl Scout Cookie block trying to edge your way in as a cookie contender, you've gotta bring at least two sleeves, not this tiny pink box crap.

That's even before getting to the cookie itself. Oatmeal Raisin is a perfectly fine cookie that will always suffer from the fact that, from a distance, it can be mistaken as chocolate chip -- a superior cookie in every way.

In actually trying the cookie, you'll find that it's not as chewy as one would like in an oatmeal raisin, but still got some nice oat-y and raisin flavor. There's a crumbly texture kind of like a Chips Ahoy. It tastes very much like a boxed cookie.

Editor's note: They do kind of taste like drywall.

6, Trefoils - Here's the thing, the Trefoils are a decent cookie. They've got that buttery shortbread taste but not quite as crumbly. It's not as rich or sweet, as likely is preferred, but isn't quite as messy either.

Trefoils could be interesting, but they're not. They're the Mitt Romney of Girl Scout Cookies. There's not much to criticize about them. It's just really difficult to get super excited about a boring version of what's already a boring type of cookie.

5. Do-Si-Dos - These remind me of those cheap peanut butter cracker sandwiches, but sweeter. There's a nice patty of peanut butter inside, resulting in that thick ol' mess in your mouth, which to you is either a good or bad thing, depending on your peanut butter preferences.

Do-Si-Dos are pretty good, but have no replay value. With some cookies, you eat one and want to binge the hell out of them. I've rarely been compelled to gorge myself on Do-Si-Dos. They have a low ceiling, like listening to a Phillip Phillips song. Sure, it was nice that one time, but then you're never excited it hear "Home" again.

4. Savannah Smiles - I'm angry at this cookie, and not even because it's bad. I would actually prefer that this cookie could be terrible, just so I could throw them at my co-workers to annoy them.

I'm angry at this cookie like a teacher watching a talented student putz his or her way through school. "You could go to college, Savannah Smiles. You just need to apply yourself!"

At first glance, it looks like another cookie misfit. They're crunchy. They're covered in this dumb layer of powdered sugar. They also explode in your mouth like a bag of flour bursting open on the floor.

If you pop the whole thing in your mouth, contain the blast zone, and get past that lemony tartness, there's this really nice lemon/citrus/buttery sweetness that makes you want to grab another one. And then your hands get coated in powdered sugar again.

3. Samoas - Oh Samoas, we'll forever be at odds.

The texture of this cookie is the best, with the caramel chewiness holding it all together, that nice chocolate sweetness, that crunch -- good stuff.

But then there's that coconut. I hate coconut. I don't understand the appeal. It's like Pitbull: It comes from the tropics, shows up in random places where it doesn't belong and ruins otherwise decent music/cookies (OK fine, there was no saving "Timber.")

However, Samoas gets a solid bump because I know I'm weird on coconut. If you like coconut, then this is your cookie. However, that doesn't excuse the fact that you only get 15 in a box.

2. Tagalongs - It is here that all logic goes out the window. I stand here ready to defend Tagalongs to the bitter end. I feel the same way about Tagalongs that I do about Taco Bell. Is it great? No. Is it good? In spots. How do I respond to people that talk smack about it? Fisticuffs.

Tagalongs are OK. The chocolate is actually pretty weak, with the peanut butter taking everything over, very rich and chewy once the full thing gets going.

But it's not the taste that makes these great, it's the texture and open-ended nature of the cookie.

The dual-layered soft-crunchy texture makes this the Cheesy Gordita Crunch of cookies. I'm a sucker for things that have a crunchy thing wrapped inside of a soft thing. It's the reason that I'm such a proponent of the toast sandwich. That peanut butter-to-cookie crunch is divine.

Eating a Tagalong is a lot like eating a Pop-Tart or Reese's Peanut Butter Cup, open for interpretation and creativity (I eat Pop-Tarts like a crazy person). It's like a cookie Rorshach Test. Do you just bite down on it? Do you try to isolate the peanut butter warhead from the rest of the chocolate covered package? Does the peanut butter go on top or on the bottom when you bite down? (The bottom. Always the bottom.) Tagalongs are a cookie playground.

1. Thin Mints - There's no touching the flavor of Thin Mints, with that cool chocolate/mint flavor (like an Andes mint) on point. Thin Mints also have the best texture, short of Samoa, with the body of the cookie being made up of a million little layers, resulting in an awesome wafery flakiness.

Those are great. But what makes Thin Mints the greatest cookie is the staying power. After you eat one Samoa or Tagalong, you need to stay mindful of the box's 15-cookie capacity. For Thin Mints, there's always that extra sleeve.

Thin Mints are meant to be gorged. I don't have the box on me, but I'm pretty sure a serving size is "one tower of cookies." Eating other cookies is nice. Eating Thin Mints is an escape, a trip into your personal chocolate-and-mint Narnia.

Afterglow

Have you ever been properly satisfied with the amount of Girl Scout Cookies you've eaten? Me neither. Afterglow grade: One Hungry Hungry Hippos commercial.

The Final Word

When my bias against coconut became open knowledge in the office, my cookie-ranking credentials were immediately called into question (I'm surprised it took so long). As a result, we opened it up to an office poll (more on that in a bit).

Note to readers: if you purchase something through one of our affiliate links we may earn a commission.


I ate every kind of Girl Scout cookie and ranked them - so you don't have to

Girl Scout cookies are a brilliant enterprise in obligated indulgence, an economic model built upon a two-pronged plan of attack:

1) Melt the callous exterior of the unwitting consumer with the adorable faces of girl scouts.
2) Strike with a multi-dimensional cookie assault that's hard to pin down to one category.

In truth, there is no "best" Girl Scout cookie. Or rather, there really shouldn't be. The existential dilemma that comes with each and every cookie order stems from the fact that it's so hard to choose which cookies to get.

Sure, maybe Thin Mints or Samoas are your favorite. But you should probably get one more. Do-Si-Dos or Tagalongs? Aw hell, get both. Oh crap, what are Savannah Smiles? Are those new? Might as well get those while you're there.

Before you know what hit you, you've now purchased four boxes of cookies (containing the caloric capacity to feed a village in Chad for a week) that you're not really sure what to do with.

Well, you've already got the cookies, might as well eat them. And you've now become part of the Cookie Machine.

Girl Scout Cookies

The conventional Girl Scout Cookie batting order is thankful devoid of the standard chocolate chip and Oreo creme-style cookies (probably the two most popular types of cookies in the country), as they would ruin the widely accepted competitive balance.

There are many favorites, but little pure consensus when it comes to the Cookie Machine. That's because the cookies so often come with personal attachment, and begin to cross into that blurred line that separates "favorite" from "best."

It's that box of Samoas that mom brings home from the office -- half-eaten after a long day -- that she needs to pry herself away from, so she tosses them to the kids to finish off. It's that box of Tagalongs that you open on the kitchen table when your sister's not looking, not knowing that sheɽ already sold that box to the neighbor. It's those boxes of Thin Mints, year after year, that seemed endless, and always held a second sleeve.

More often than not, the "favorite" Girl Scout Cookie is also the original cookie for lots of folks, the one that they latched on to early and stayed loyal to.

It's with this in mind that, when it comes to Girl Scout Cookies, it rarely comes down to a discussion of which one is the tastiest. No one cares. It's about which cookie is best. It's not just any Girl Scout Cookie, it's your Girl Scout Cookie, and you will not sit idly when someone has the audacity to besmirch its cookie honor.

With that in mind, I will now commence the besmirchment.

So how do they rank?

7. Rah-Rah Raisin - OK, let's talk about this box. It's tiny, and gives you only one sleeve of cookies. Listen, Rah-Rah Raisin, if you're going to show up on the Girl Scout Cookie block trying to edge your way in as a cookie contender, you've gotta bring at least two sleeves, not this tiny pink box crap.

That's even before getting to the cookie itself. Oatmeal Raisin is a perfectly fine cookie that will always suffer from the fact that, from a distance, it can be mistaken as chocolate chip -- a superior cookie in every way.

In actually trying the cookie, you'll find that it's not as chewy as one would like in an oatmeal raisin, but still got some nice oat-y and raisin flavor. There's a crumbly texture kind of like a Chips Ahoy. It tastes very much like a boxed cookie.

Editor's note: They do kind of taste like drywall.

6, Trefoils - Here's the thing, the Trefoils are a decent cookie. They've got that buttery shortbread taste but not quite as crumbly. It's not as rich or sweet, as likely is preferred, but isn't quite as messy either.

Trefoils could be interesting, but they're not. They're the Mitt Romney of Girl Scout Cookies. There's not much to criticize about them. It's just really difficult to get super excited about a boring version of what's already a boring type of cookie.

5. Do-Si-Dos - These remind me of those cheap peanut butter cracker sandwiches, but sweeter. There's a nice patty of peanut butter inside, resulting in that thick ol' mess in your mouth, which to you is either a good or bad thing, depending on your peanut butter preferences.

Do-Si-Dos are pretty good, but have no replay value. With some cookies, you eat one and want to binge the hell out of them. I've rarely been compelled to gorge myself on Do-Si-Dos. They have a low ceiling, like listening to a Phillip Phillips song. Sure, it was nice that one time, but then you're never excited it hear "Home" again.

4. Savannah Smiles - I'm angry at this cookie, and not even because it's bad. I would actually prefer that this cookie could be terrible, just so I could throw them at my co-workers to annoy them.

I'm angry at this cookie like a teacher watching a talented student putz his or her way through school. "You could go to college, Savannah Smiles. You just need to apply yourself!"

At first glance, it looks like another cookie misfit. They're crunchy. They're covered in this dumb layer of powdered sugar. They also explode in your mouth like a bag of flour bursting open on the floor.

If you pop the whole thing in your mouth, contain the blast zone, and get past that lemony tartness, there's this really nice lemon/citrus/buttery sweetness that makes you want to grab another one. And then your hands get coated in powdered sugar again.

3. Samoas - Oh Samoas, we'll forever be at odds.

The texture of this cookie is the best, with the caramel chewiness holding it all together, that nice chocolate sweetness, that crunch -- good stuff.

But then there's that coconut. I hate coconut. I don't understand the appeal. It's like Pitbull: It comes from the tropics, shows up in random places where it doesn't belong and ruins otherwise decent music/cookies (OK fine, there was no saving "Timber.")

However, Samoas gets a solid bump because I know I'm weird on coconut. If you like coconut, then this is your cookie. However, that doesn't excuse the fact that you only get 15 in a box.

2. Tagalongs - It is here that all logic goes out the window. I stand here ready to defend Tagalongs to the bitter end. I feel the same way about Tagalongs that I do about Taco Bell. Is it great? No. Is it good? In spots. How do I respond to people that talk smack about it? Fisticuffs.

Tagalongs are OK. The chocolate is actually pretty weak, with the peanut butter taking everything over, very rich and chewy once the full thing gets going.

But it's not the taste that makes these great, it's the texture and open-ended nature of the cookie.

The dual-layered soft-crunchy texture makes this the Cheesy Gordita Crunch of cookies. I'm a sucker for things that have a crunchy thing wrapped inside of a soft thing. It's the reason that I'm such a proponent of the toast sandwich. That peanut butter-to-cookie crunch is divine.

Eating a Tagalong is a lot like eating a Pop-Tart or Reese's Peanut Butter Cup, open for interpretation and creativity (I eat Pop-Tarts like a crazy person). It's like a cookie Rorshach Test. Do you just bite down on it? Do you try to isolate the peanut butter warhead from the rest of the chocolate covered package? Does the peanut butter go on top or on the bottom when you bite down? (The bottom. Always the bottom.) Tagalongs are a cookie playground.

1. Thin Mints - There's no touching the flavor of Thin Mints, with that cool chocolate/mint flavor (like an Andes mint) on point. Thin Mints also have the best texture, short of Samoa, with the body of the cookie being made up of a million little layers, resulting in an awesome wafery flakiness.

Those are great. But what makes Thin Mints the greatest cookie is the staying power. After you eat one Samoa or Tagalong, you need to stay mindful of the box's 15-cookie capacity. For Thin Mints, there's always that extra sleeve.

Thin Mints are meant to be gorged. I don't have the box on me, but I'm pretty sure a serving size is "one tower of cookies." Eating other cookies is nice. Eating Thin Mints is an escape, a trip into your personal chocolate-and-mint Narnia.

Afterglow

Have you ever been properly satisfied with the amount of Girl Scout Cookies you've eaten? Me neither. Afterglow grade: One Hungry Hungry Hippos commercial.

The Final Word

When my bias against coconut became open knowledge in the office, my cookie-ranking credentials were immediately called into question (I'm surprised it took so long). As a result, we opened it up to an office poll (more on that in a bit).

Note to readers: if you purchase something through one of our affiliate links we may earn a commission.


I ate every kind of Girl Scout cookie and ranked them - so you don't have to

Girl Scout cookies are a brilliant enterprise in obligated indulgence, an economic model built upon a two-pronged plan of attack:

1) Melt the callous exterior of the unwitting consumer with the adorable faces of girl scouts.
2) Strike with a multi-dimensional cookie assault that's hard to pin down to one category.

In truth, there is no "best" Girl Scout cookie. Or rather, there really shouldn't be. The existential dilemma that comes with each and every cookie order stems from the fact that it's so hard to choose which cookies to get.

Sure, maybe Thin Mints or Samoas are your favorite. But you should probably get one more. Do-Si-Dos or Tagalongs? Aw hell, get both. Oh crap, what are Savannah Smiles? Are those new? Might as well get those while you're there.

Before you know what hit you, you've now purchased four boxes of cookies (containing the caloric capacity to feed a village in Chad for a week) that you're not really sure what to do with.

Well, you've already got the cookies, might as well eat them. And you've now become part of the Cookie Machine.

Girl Scout Cookies

The conventional Girl Scout Cookie batting order is thankful devoid of the standard chocolate chip and Oreo creme-style cookies (probably the two most popular types of cookies in the country), as they would ruin the widely accepted competitive balance.

There are many favorites, but little pure consensus when it comes to the Cookie Machine. That's because the cookies so often come with personal attachment, and begin to cross into that blurred line that separates "favorite" from "best."

It's that box of Samoas that mom brings home from the office -- half-eaten after a long day -- that she needs to pry herself away from, so she tosses them to the kids to finish off. It's that box of Tagalongs that you open on the kitchen table when your sister's not looking, not knowing that sheɽ already sold that box to the neighbor. It's those boxes of Thin Mints, year after year, that seemed endless, and always held a second sleeve.

More often than not, the "favorite" Girl Scout Cookie is also the original cookie for lots of folks, the one that they latched on to early and stayed loyal to.

It's with this in mind that, when it comes to Girl Scout Cookies, it rarely comes down to a discussion of which one is the tastiest. No one cares. It's about which cookie is best. It's not just any Girl Scout Cookie, it's your Girl Scout Cookie, and you will not sit idly when someone has the audacity to besmirch its cookie honor.

With that in mind, I will now commence the besmirchment.

So how do they rank?

7. Rah-Rah Raisin - OK, let's talk about this box. It's tiny, and gives you only one sleeve of cookies. Listen, Rah-Rah Raisin, if you're going to show up on the Girl Scout Cookie block trying to edge your way in as a cookie contender, you've gotta bring at least two sleeves, not this tiny pink box crap.

That's even before getting to the cookie itself. Oatmeal Raisin is a perfectly fine cookie that will always suffer from the fact that, from a distance, it can be mistaken as chocolate chip -- a superior cookie in every way.

In actually trying the cookie, you'll find that it's not as chewy as one would like in an oatmeal raisin, but still got some nice oat-y and raisin flavor. There's a crumbly texture kind of like a Chips Ahoy. It tastes very much like a boxed cookie.

Editor's note: They do kind of taste like drywall.

6, Trefoils - Here's the thing, the Trefoils are a decent cookie. They've got that buttery shortbread taste but not quite as crumbly. It's not as rich or sweet, as likely is preferred, but isn't quite as messy either.

Trefoils could be interesting, but they're not. They're the Mitt Romney of Girl Scout Cookies. There's not much to criticize about them. It's just really difficult to get super excited about a boring version of what's already a boring type of cookie.

5. Do-Si-Dos - These remind me of those cheap peanut butter cracker sandwiches, but sweeter. There's a nice patty of peanut butter inside, resulting in that thick ol' mess in your mouth, which to you is either a good or bad thing, depending on your peanut butter preferences.

Do-Si-Dos are pretty good, but have no replay value. With some cookies, you eat one and want to binge the hell out of them. I've rarely been compelled to gorge myself on Do-Si-Dos. They have a low ceiling, like listening to a Phillip Phillips song. Sure, it was nice that one time, but then you're never excited it hear "Home" again.

4. Savannah Smiles - I'm angry at this cookie, and not even because it's bad. I would actually prefer that this cookie could be terrible, just so I could throw them at my co-workers to annoy them.

I'm angry at this cookie like a teacher watching a talented student putz his or her way through school. "You could go to college, Savannah Smiles. You just need to apply yourself!"

At first glance, it looks like another cookie misfit. They're crunchy. They're covered in this dumb layer of powdered sugar. They also explode in your mouth like a bag of flour bursting open on the floor.

If you pop the whole thing in your mouth, contain the blast zone, and get past that lemony tartness, there's this really nice lemon/citrus/buttery sweetness that makes you want to grab another one. And then your hands get coated in powdered sugar again.

3. Samoas - Oh Samoas, we'll forever be at odds.

The texture of this cookie is the best, with the caramel chewiness holding it all together, that nice chocolate sweetness, that crunch -- good stuff.

But then there's that coconut. I hate coconut. I don't understand the appeal. It's like Pitbull: It comes from the tropics, shows up in random places where it doesn't belong and ruins otherwise decent music/cookies (OK fine, there was no saving "Timber.")

However, Samoas gets a solid bump because I know I'm weird on coconut. If you like coconut, then this is your cookie. However, that doesn't excuse the fact that you only get 15 in a box.

2. Tagalongs - It is here that all logic goes out the window. I stand here ready to defend Tagalongs to the bitter end. I feel the same way about Tagalongs that I do about Taco Bell. Is it great? No. Is it good? In spots. How do I respond to people that talk smack about it? Fisticuffs.

Tagalongs are OK. The chocolate is actually pretty weak, with the peanut butter taking everything over, very rich and chewy once the full thing gets going.

But it's not the taste that makes these great, it's the texture and open-ended nature of the cookie.

The dual-layered soft-crunchy texture makes this the Cheesy Gordita Crunch of cookies. I'm a sucker for things that have a crunchy thing wrapped inside of a soft thing. It's the reason that I'm such a proponent of the toast sandwich. That peanut butter-to-cookie crunch is divine.

Eating a Tagalong is a lot like eating a Pop-Tart or Reese's Peanut Butter Cup, open for interpretation and creativity (I eat Pop-Tarts like a crazy person). It's like a cookie Rorshach Test. Do you just bite down on it? Do you try to isolate the peanut butter warhead from the rest of the chocolate covered package? Does the peanut butter go on top or on the bottom when you bite down? (The bottom. Always the bottom.) Tagalongs are a cookie playground.

1. Thin Mints - There's no touching the flavor of Thin Mints, with that cool chocolate/mint flavor (like an Andes mint) on point. Thin Mints also have the best texture, short of Samoa, with the body of the cookie being made up of a million little layers, resulting in an awesome wafery flakiness.

Those are great. But what makes Thin Mints the greatest cookie is the staying power. After you eat one Samoa or Tagalong, you need to stay mindful of the box's 15-cookie capacity. For Thin Mints, there's always that extra sleeve.

Thin Mints are meant to be gorged. I don't have the box on me, but I'm pretty sure a serving size is "one tower of cookies." Eating other cookies is nice. Eating Thin Mints is an escape, a trip into your personal chocolate-and-mint Narnia.

Afterglow

Have you ever been properly satisfied with the amount of Girl Scout Cookies you've eaten? Me neither. Afterglow grade: One Hungry Hungry Hippos commercial.

The Final Word

When my bias against coconut became open knowledge in the office, my cookie-ranking credentials were immediately called into question (I'm surprised it took so long). As a result, we opened it up to an office poll (more on that in a bit).

Note to readers: if you purchase something through one of our affiliate links we may earn a commission.


I ate every kind of Girl Scout cookie and ranked them - so you don't have to

Girl Scout cookies are a brilliant enterprise in obligated indulgence, an economic model built upon a two-pronged plan of attack:

1) Melt the callous exterior of the unwitting consumer with the adorable faces of girl scouts.
2) Strike with a multi-dimensional cookie assault that's hard to pin down to one category.

In truth, there is no "best" Girl Scout cookie. Or rather, there really shouldn't be. The existential dilemma that comes with each and every cookie order stems from the fact that it's so hard to choose which cookies to get.

Sure, maybe Thin Mints or Samoas are your favorite. But you should probably get one more. Do-Si-Dos or Tagalongs? Aw hell, get both. Oh crap, what are Savannah Smiles? Are those new? Might as well get those while you're there.

Before you know what hit you, you've now purchased four boxes of cookies (containing the caloric capacity to feed a village in Chad for a week) that you're not really sure what to do with.

Well, you've already got the cookies, might as well eat them. And you've now become part of the Cookie Machine.

Girl Scout Cookies

The conventional Girl Scout Cookie batting order is thankful devoid of the standard chocolate chip and Oreo creme-style cookies (probably the two most popular types of cookies in the country), as they would ruin the widely accepted competitive balance.

There are many favorites, but little pure consensus when it comes to the Cookie Machine. That's because the cookies so often come with personal attachment, and begin to cross into that blurred line that separates "favorite" from "best."

It's that box of Samoas that mom brings home from the office -- half-eaten after a long day -- that she needs to pry herself away from, so she tosses them to the kids to finish off. It's that box of Tagalongs that you open on the kitchen table when your sister's not looking, not knowing that sheɽ already sold that box to the neighbor. It's those boxes of Thin Mints, year after year, that seemed endless, and always held a second sleeve.

More often than not, the "favorite" Girl Scout Cookie is also the original cookie for lots of folks, the one that they latched on to early and stayed loyal to.

It's with this in mind that, when it comes to Girl Scout Cookies, it rarely comes down to a discussion of which one is the tastiest. No one cares. It's about which cookie is best. It's not just any Girl Scout Cookie, it's your Girl Scout Cookie, and you will not sit idly when someone has the audacity to besmirch its cookie honor.

With that in mind, I will now commence the besmirchment.

So how do they rank?

7. Rah-Rah Raisin - OK, let's talk about this box. It's tiny, and gives you only one sleeve of cookies. Listen, Rah-Rah Raisin, if you're going to show up on the Girl Scout Cookie block trying to edge your way in as a cookie contender, you've gotta bring at least two sleeves, not this tiny pink box crap.

That's even before getting to the cookie itself. Oatmeal Raisin is a perfectly fine cookie that will always suffer from the fact that, from a distance, it can be mistaken as chocolate chip -- a superior cookie in every way.

In actually trying the cookie, you'll find that it's not as chewy as one would like in an oatmeal raisin, but still got some nice oat-y and raisin flavor. There's a crumbly texture kind of like a Chips Ahoy. It tastes very much like a boxed cookie.

Editor's note: They do kind of taste like drywall.

6, Trefoils - Here's the thing, the Trefoils are a decent cookie. They've got that buttery shortbread taste but not quite as crumbly. It's not as rich or sweet, as likely is preferred, but isn't quite as messy either.

Trefoils could be interesting, but they're not. They're the Mitt Romney of Girl Scout Cookies. There's not much to criticize about them. It's just really difficult to get super excited about a boring version of what's already a boring type of cookie.

5. Do-Si-Dos - These remind me of those cheap peanut butter cracker sandwiches, but sweeter. There's a nice patty of peanut butter inside, resulting in that thick ol' mess in your mouth, which to you is either a good or bad thing, depending on your peanut butter preferences.

Do-Si-Dos are pretty good, but have no replay value. With some cookies, you eat one and want to binge the hell out of them. I've rarely been compelled to gorge myself on Do-Si-Dos. They have a low ceiling, like listening to a Phillip Phillips song. Sure, it was nice that one time, but then you're never excited it hear "Home" again.

4. Savannah Smiles - I'm angry at this cookie, and not even because it's bad. I would actually prefer that this cookie could be terrible, just so I could throw them at my co-workers to annoy them.

I'm angry at this cookie like a teacher watching a talented student putz his or her way through school. "You could go to college, Savannah Smiles. You just need to apply yourself!"

At first glance, it looks like another cookie misfit. They're crunchy. They're covered in this dumb layer of powdered sugar. They also explode in your mouth like a bag of flour bursting open on the floor.

If you pop the whole thing in your mouth, contain the blast zone, and get past that lemony tartness, there's this really nice lemon/citrus/buttery sweetness that makes you want to grab another one. And then your hands get coated in powdered sugar again.

3. Samoas - Oh Samoas, we'll forever be at odds.

The texture of this cookie is the best, with the caramel chewiness holding it all together, that nice chocolate sweetness, that crunch -- good stuff.

But then there's that coconut. I hate coconut. I don't understand the appeal. It's like Pitbull: It comes from the tropics, shows up in random places where it doesn't belong and ruins otherwise decent music/cookies (OK fine, there was no saving "Timber.")

However, Samoas gets a solid bump because I know I'm weird on coconut. If you like coconut, then this is your cookie. However, that doesn't excuse the fact that you only get 15 in a box.

2. Tagalongs - It is here that all logic goes out the window. I stand here ready to defend Tagalongs to the bitter end. I feel the same way about Tagalongs that I do about Taco Bell. Is it great? No. Is it good? In spots. How do I respond to people that talk smack about it? Fisticuffs.

Tagalongs are OK. The chocolate is actually pretty weak, with the peanut butter taking everything over, very rich and chewy once the full thing gets going.

But it's not the taste that makes these great, it's the texture and open-ended nature of the cookie.

The dual-layered soft-crunchy texture makes this the Cheesy Gordita Crunch of cookies. I'm a sucker for things that have a crunchy thing wrapped inside of a soft thing. It's the reason that I'm such a proponent of the toast sandwich. That peanut butter-to-cookie crunch is divine.

Eating a Tagalong is a lot like eating a Pop-Tart or Reese's Peanut Butter Cup, open for interpretation and creativity (I eat Pop-Tarts like a crazy person). It's like a cookie Rorshach Test. Do you just bite down on it? Do you try to isolate the peanut butter warhead from the rest of the chocolate covered package? Does the peanut butter go on top or on the bottom when you bite down? (The bottom. Always the bottom.) Tagalongs are a cookie playground.

1. Thin Mints - There's no touching the flavor of Thin Mints, with that cool chocolate/mint flavor (like an Andes mint) on point. Thin Mints also have the best texture, short of Samoa, with the body of the cookie being made up of a million little layers, resulting in an awesome wafery flakiness.

Those are great. But what makes Thin Mints the greatest cookie is the staying power. After you eat one Samoa or Tagalong, you need to stay mindful of the box's 15-cookie capacity. For Thin Mints, there's always that extra sleeve.

Thin Mints are meant to be gorged. I don't have the box on me, but I'm pretty sure a serving size is "one tower of cookies." Eating other cookies is nice. Eating Thin Mints is an escape, a trip into your personal chocolate-and-mint Narnia.

Afterglow

Have you ever been properly satisfied with the amount of Girl Scout Cookies you've eaten? Me neither. Afterglow grade: One Hungry Hungry Hippos commercial.

The Final Word

When my bias against coconut became open knowledge in the office, my cookie-ranking credentials were immediately called into question (I'm surprised it took so long). As a result, we opened it up to an office poll (more on that in a bit).

Note to readers: if you purchase something through one of our affiliate links we may earn a commission.


I ate every kind of Girl Scout cookie and ranked them - so you don't have to

Girl Scout cookies are a brilliant enterprise in obligated indulgence, an economic model built upon a two-pronged plan of attack:

1) Melt the callous exterior of the unwitting consumer with the adorable faces of girl scouts.
2) Strike with a multi-dimensional cookie assault that's hard to pin down to one category.

In truth, there is no "best" Girl Scout cookie. Or rather, there really shouldn't be. The existential dilemma that comes with each and every cookie order stems from the fact that it's so hard to choose which cookies to get.

Sure, maybe Thin Mints or Samoas are your favorite. But you should probably get one more. Do-Si-Dos or Tagalongs? Aw hell, get both. Oh crap, what are Savannah Smiles? Are those new? Might as well get those while you're there.

Before you know what hit you, you've now purchased four boxes of cookies (containing the caloric capacity to feed a village in Chad for a week) that you're not really sure what to do with.

Well, you've already got the cookies, might as well eat them. And you've now become part of the Cookie Machine.

Girl Scout Cookies

The conventional Girl Scout Cookie batting order is thankful devoid of the standard chocolate chip and Oreo creme-style cookies (probably the two most popular types of cookies in the country), as they would ruin the widely accepted competitive balance.

There are many favorites, but little pure consensus when it comes to the Cookie Machine. That's because the cookies so often come with personal attachment, and begin to cross into that blurred line that separates "favorite" from "best."

It's that box of Samoas that mom brings home from the office -- half-eaten after a long day -- that she needs to pry herself away from, so she tosses them to the kids to finish off. It's that box of Tagalongs that you open on the kitchen table when your sister's not looking, not knowing that sheɽ already sold that box to the neighbor. It's those boxes of Thin Mints, year after year, that seemed endless, and always held a second sleeve.

More often than not, the "favorite" Girl Scout Cookie is also the original cookie for lots of folks, the one that they latched on to early and stayed loyal to.

It's with this in mind that, when it comes to Girl Scout Cookies, it rarely comes down to a discussion of which one is the tastiest. No one cares. It's about which cookie is best. It's not just any Girl Scout Cookie, it's your Girl Scout Cookie, and you will not sit idly when someone has the audacity to besmirch its cookie honor.

With that in mind, I will now commence the besmirchment.

So how do they rank?

7. Rah-Rah Raisin - OK, let's talk about this box. It's tiny, and gives you only one sleeve of cookies. Listen, Rah-Rah Raisin, if you're going to show up on the Girl Scout Cookie block trying to edge your way in as a cookie contender, you've gotta bring at least two sleeves, not this tiny pink box crap.

That's even before getting to the cookie itself. Oatmeal Raisin is a perfectly fine cookie that will always suffer from the fact that, from a distance, it can be mistaken as chocolate chip -- a superior cookie in every way.

In actually trying the cookie, you'll find that it's not as chewy as one would like in an oatmeal raisin, but still got some nice oat-y and raisin flavor. There's a crumbly texture kind of like a Chips Ahoy. It tastes very much like a boxed cookie.

Editor's note: They do kind of taste like drywall.

6, Trefoils - Here's the thing, the Trefoils are a decent cookie. They've got that buttery shortbread taste but not quite as crumbly. It's not as rich or sweet, as likely is preferred, but isn't quite as messy either.

Trefoils could be interesting, but they're not. They're the Mitt Romney of Girl Scout Cookies. There's not much to criticize about them. It's just really difficult to get super excited about a boring version of what's already a boring type of cookie.

5. Do-Si-Dos - These remind me of those cheap peanut butter cracker sandwiches, but sweeter. There's a nice patty of peanut butter inside, resulting in that thick ol' mess in your mouth, which to you is either a good or bad thing, depending on your peanut butter preferences.

Do-Si-Dos are pretty good, but have no replay value. With some cookies, you eat one and want to binge the hell out of them. I've rarely been compelled to gorge myself on Do-Si-Dos. They have a low ceiling, like listening to a Phillip Phillips song. Sure, it was nice that one time, but then you're never excited it hear "Home" again.

4. Savannah Smiles - I'm angry at this cookie, and not even because it's bad. I would actually prefer that this cookie could be terrible, just so I could throw them at my co-workers to annoy them.

I'm angry at this cookie like a teacher watching a talented student putz his or her way through school. "You could go to college, Savannah Smiles. You just need to apply yourself!"

At first glance, it looks like another cookie misfit. They're crunchy. They're covered in this dumb layer of powdered sugar. They also explode in your mouth like a bag of flour bursting open on the floor.

If you pop the whole thing in your mouth, contain the blast zone, and get past that lemony tartness, there's this really nice lemon/citrus/buttery sweetness that makes you want to grab another one. And then your hands get coated in powdered sugar again.

3. Samoas - Oh Samoas, we'll forever be at odds.

The texture of this cookie is the best, with the caramel chewiness holding it all together, that nice chocolate sweetness, that crunch -- good stuff.

But then there's that coconut. I hate coconut. I don't understand the appeal. It's like Pitbull: It comes from the tropics, shows up in random places where it doesn't belong and ruins otherwise decent music/cookies (OK fine, there was no saving "Timber.")

However, Samoas gets a solid bump because I know I'm weird on coconut. If you like coconut, then this is your cookie. However, that doesn't excuse the fact that you only get 15 in a box.

2. Tagalongs - It is here that all logic goes out the window. I stand here ready to defend Tagalongs to the bitter end. I feel the same way about Tagalongs that I do about Taco Bell. Is it great? No. Is it good? In spots. How do I respond to people that talk smack about it? Fisticuffs.

Tagalongs are OK. The chocolate is actually pretty weak, with the peanut butter taking everything over, very rich and chewy once the full thing gets going.

But it's not the taste that makes these great, it's the texture and open-ended nature of the cookie.

The dual-layered soft-crunchy texture makes this the Cheesy Gordita Crunch of cookies. I'm a sucker for things that have a crunchy thing wrapped inside of a soft thing. It's the reason that I'm such a proponent of the toast sandwich. That peanut butter-to-cookie crunch is divine.

Eating a Tagalong is a lot like eating a Pop-Tart or Reese's Peanut Butter Cup, open for interpretation and creativity (I eat Pop-Tarts like a crazy person). It's like a cookie Rorshach Test. Do you just bite down on it? Do you try to isolate the peanut butter warhead from the rest of the chocolate covered package? Does the peanut butter go on top or on the bottom when you bite down? (The bottom. Always the bottom.) Tagalongs are a cookie playground.

1. Thin Mints - There's no touching the flavor of Thin Mints, with that cool chocolate/mint flavor (like an Andes mint) on point. Thin Mints also have the best texture, short of Samoa, with the body of the cookie being made up of a million little layers, resulting in an awesome wafery flakiness.

Those are great. But what makes Thin Mints the greatest cookie is the staying power. After you eat one Samoa or Tagalong, you need to stay mindful of the box's 15-cookie capacity. For Thin Mints, there's always that extra sleeve.

Thin Mints are meant to be gorged. I don't have the box on me, but I'm pretty sure a serving size is "one tower of cookies." Eating other cookies is nice. Eating Thin Mints is an escape, a trip into your personal chocolate-and-mint Narnia.

Afterglow

Have you ever been properly satisfied with the amount of Girl Scout Cookies you've eaten? Me neither. Afterglow grade: One Hungry Hungry Hippos commercial.

The Final Word

When my bias against coconut became open knowledge in the office, my cookie-ranking credentials were immediately called into question (I'm surprised it took so long). As a result, we opened it up to an office poll (more on that in a bit).

Note to readers: if you purchase something through one of our affiliate links we may earn a commission.


I ate every kind of Girl Scout cookie and ranked them - so you don't have to

Girl Scout cookies are a brilliant enterprise in obligated indulgence, an economic model built upon a two-pronged plan of attack:

1) Melt the callous exterior of the unwitting consumer with the adorable faces of girl scouts.
2) Strike with a multi-dimensional cookie assault that's hard to pin down to one category.

In truth, there is no "best" Girl Scout cookie. Or rather, there really shouldn't be. The existential dilemma that comes with each and every cookie order stems from the fact that it's so hard to choose which cookies to get.

Sure, maybe Thin Mints or Samoas are your favorite. But you should probably get one more. Do-Si-Dos or Tagalongs? Aw hell, get both. Oh crap, what are Savannah Smiles? Are those new? Might as well get those while you're there.

Before you know what hit you, you've now purchased four boxes of cookies (containing the caloric capacity to feed a village in Chad for a week) that you're not really sure what to do with.

Well, you've already got the cookies, might as well eat them. And you've now become part of the Cookie Machine.

Girl Scout Cookies

The conventional Girl Scout Cookie batting order is thankful devoid of the standard chocolate chip and Oreo creme-style cookies (probably the two most popular types of cookies in the country), as they would ruin the widely accepted competitive balance.

There are many favorites, but little pure consensus when it comes to the Cookie Machine. That's because the cookies so often come with personal attachment, and begin to cross into that blurred line that separates "favorite" from "best."

It's that box of Samoas that mom brings home from the office -- half-eaten after a long day -- that she needs to pry herself away from, so she tosses them to the kids to finish off. It's that box of Tagalongs that you open on the kitchen table when your sister's not looking, not knowing that sheɽ already sold that box to the neighbor. It's those boxes of Thin Mints, year after year, that seemed endless, and always held a second sleeve.

More often than not, the "favorite" Girl Scout Cookie is also the original cookie for lots of folks, the one that they latched on to early and stayed loyal to.

It's with this in mind that, when it comes to Girl Scout Cookies, it rarely comes down to a discussion of which one is the tastiest. No one cares. It's about which cookie is best. It's not just any Girl Scout Cookie, it's your Girl Scout Cookie, and you will not sit idly when someone has the audacity to besmirch its cookie honor.

With that in mind, I will now commence the besmirchment.

So how do they rank?

7. Rah-Rah Raisin - OK, let's talk about this box. It's tiny, and gives you only one sleeve of cookies. Listen, Rah-Rah Raisin, if you're going to show up on the Girl Scout Cookie block trying to edge your way in as a cookie contender, you've gotta bring at least two sleeves, not this tiny pink box crap.

That's even before getting to the cookie itself. Oatmeal Raisin is a perfectly fine cookie that will always suffer from the fact that, from a distance, it can be mistaken as chocolate chip -- a superior cookie in every way.

In actually trying the cookie, you'll find that it's not as chewy as one would like in an oatmeal raisin, but still got some nice oat-y and raisin flavor. There's a crumbly texture kind of like a Chips Ahoy. It tastes very much like a boxed cookie.

Editor's note: They do kind of taste like drywall.

6, Trefoils - Here's the thing, the Trefoils are a decent cookie. They've got that buttery shortbread taste but not quite as crumbly. It's not as rich or sweet, as likely is preferred, but isn't quite as messy either.

Trefoils could be interesting, but they're not. They're the Mitt Romney of Girl Scout Cookies. There's not much to criticize about them. It's just really difficult to get super excited about a boring version of what's already a boring type of cookie.

5. Do-Si-Dos - These remind me of those cheap peanut butter cracker sandwiches, but sweeter. There's a nice patty of peanut butter inside, resulting in that thick ol' mess in your mouth, which to you is either a good or bad thing, depending on your peanut butter preferences.

Do-Si-Dos are pretty good, but have no replay value. With some cookies, you eat one and want to binge the hell out of them. I've rarely been compelled to gorge myself on Do-Si-Dos. They have a low ceiling, like listening to a Phillip Phillips song. Sure, it was nice that one time, but then you're never excited it hear "Home" again.

4. Savannah Smiles - I'm angry at this cookie, and not even because it's bad. I would actually prefer that this cookie could be terrible, just so I could throw them at my co-workers to annoy them.

I'm angry at this cookie like a teacher watching a talented student putz his or her way through school. "You could go to college, Savannah Smiles. You just need to apply yourself!"

At first glance, it looks like another cookie misfit. They're crunchy. They're covered in this dumb layer of powdered sugar. They also explode in your mouth like a bag of flour bursting open on the floor.

If you pop the whole thing in your mouth, contain the blast zone, and get past that lemony tartness, there's this really nice lemon/citrus/buttery sweetness that makes you want to grab another one. And then your hands get coated in powdered sugar again.

3. Samoas - Oh Samoas, we'll forever be at odds.

The texture of this cookie is the best, with the caramel chewiness holding it all together, that nice chocolate sweetness, that crunch -- good stuff.

But then there's that coconut. I hate coconut. I don't understand the appeal. It's like Pitbull: It comes from the tropics, shows up in random places where it doesn't belong and ruins otherwise decent music/cookies (OK fine, there was no saving "Timber.")

However, Samoas gets a solid bump because I know I'm weird on coconut. If you like coconut, then this is your cookie. However, that doesn't excuse the fact that you only get 15 in a box.

2. Tagalongs - It is here that all logic goes out the window. I stand here ready to defend Tagalongs to the bitter end. I feel the same way about Tagalongs that I do about Taco Bell. Is it great? No. Is it good? In spots. How do I respond to people that talk smack about it? Fisticuffs.

Tagalongs are OK. The chocolate is actually pretty weak, with the peanut butter taking everything over, very rich and chewy once the full thing gets going.

But it's not the taste that makes these great, it's the texture and open-ended nature of the cookie.

The dual-layered soft-crunchy texture makes this the Cheesy Gordita Crunch of cookies. I'm a sucker for things that have a crunchy thing wrapped inside of a soft thing. It's the reason that I'm such a proponent of the toast sandwich. That peanut butter-to-cookie crunch is divine.

Eating a Tagalong is a lot like eating a Pop-Tart or Reese's Peanut Butter Cup, open for interpretation and creativity (I eat Pop-Tarts like a crazy person). It's like a cookie Rorshach Test. Do you just bite down on it? Do you try to isolate the peanut butter warhead from the rest of the chocolate covered package? Does the peanut butter go on top or on the bottom when you bite down? (The bottom. Always the bottom.) Tagalongs are a cookie playground.

1. Thin Mints - There's no touching the flavor of Thin Mints, with that cool chocolate/mint flavor (like an Andes mint) on point. Thin Mints also have the best texture, short of Samoa, with the body of the cookie being made up of a million little layers, resulting in an awesome wafery flakiness.

Those are great. But what makes Thin Mints the greatest cookie is the staying power. After you eat one Samoa or Tagalong, you need to stay mindful of the box's 15-cookie capacity. For Thin Mints, there's always that extra sleeve.

Thin Mints are meant to be gorged. I don't have the box on me, but I'm pretty sure a serving size is "one tower of cookies." Eating other cookies is nice. Eating Thin Mints is an escape, a trip into your personal chocolate-and-mint Narnia.

Afterglow

Have you ever been properly satisfied with the amount of Girl Scout Cookies you've eaten? Me neither. Afterglow grade: One Hungry Hungry Hippos commercial.

The Final Word

When my bias against coconut became open knowledge in the office, my cookie-ranking credentials were immediately called into question (I'm surprised it took so long). As a result, we opened it up to an office poll (more on that in a bit).

Note to readers: if you purchase something through one of our affiliate links we may earn a commission.


I ate every kind of Girl Scout cookie and ranked them - so you don't have to

Girl Scout cookies are a brilliant enterprise in obligated indulgence, an economic model built upon a two-pronged plan of attack:

1) Melt the callous exterior of the unwitting consumer with the adorable faces of girl scouts.
2) Strike with a multi-dimensional cookie assault that's hard to pin down to one category.

In truth, there is no "best" Girl Scout cookie. Or rather, there really shouldn't be. The existential dilemma that comes with each and every cookie order stems from the fact that it's so hard to choose which cookies to get.

Sure, maybe Thin Mints or Samoas are your favorite. But you should probably get one more. Do-Si-Dos or Tagalongs? Aw hell, get both. Oh crap, what are Savannah Smiles? Are those new? Might as well get those while you're there.

Before you know what hit you, you've now purchased four boxes of cookies (containing the caloric capacity to feed a village in Chad for a week) that you're not really sure what to do with.

Well, you've already got the cookies, might as well eat them. And you've now become part of the Cookie Machine.

Girl Scout Cookies

The conventional Girl Scout Cookie batting order is thankful devoid of the standard chocolate chip and Oreo creme-style cookies (probably the two most popular types of cookies in the country), as they would ruin the widely accepted competitive balance.

There are many favorites, but little pure consensus when it comes to the Cookie Machine. That's because the cookies so often come with personal attachment, and begin to cross into that blurred line that separates "favorite" from "best."

It's that box of Samoas that mom brings home from the office -- half-eaten after a long day -- that she needs to pry herself away from, so she tosses them to the kids to finish off. It's that box of Tagalongs that you open on the kitchen table when your sister's not looking, not knowing that sheɽ already sold that box to the neighbor. It's those boxes of Thin Mints, year after year, that seemed endless, and always held a second sleeve.

More often than not, the "favorite" Girl Scout Cookie is also the original cookie for lots of folks, the one that they latched on to early and stayed loyal to.

It's with this in mind that, when it comes to Girl Scout Cookies, it rarely comes down to a discussion of which one is the tastiest. No one cares. It's about which cookie is best. It's not just any Girl Scout Cookie, it's your Girl Scout Cookie, and you will not sit idly when someone has the audacity to besmirch its cookie honor.

With that in mind, I will now commence the besmirchment.

So how do they rank?

7. Rah-Rah Raisin - OK, let's talk about this box. It's tiny, and gives you only one sleeve of cookies. Listen, Rah-Rah Raisin, if you're going to show up on the Girl Scout Cookie block trying to edge your way in as a cookie contender, you've gotta bring at least two sleeves, not this tiny pink box crap.

That's even before getting to the cookie itself. Oatmeal Raisin is a perfectly fine cookie that will always suffer from the fact that, from a distance, it can be mistaken as chocolate chip -- a superior cookie in every way.

In actually trying the cookie, you'll find that it's not as chewy as one would like in an oatmeal raisin, but still got some nice oat-y and raisin flavor. There's a crumbly texture kind of like a Chips Ahoy. It tastes very much like a boxed cookie.

Editor's note: They do kind of taste like drywall.

6, Trefoils - Here's the thing, the Trefoils are a decent cookie. They've got that buttery shortbread taste but not quite as crumbly. It's not as rich or sweet, as likely is preferred, but isn't quite as messy either.

Trefoils could be interesting, but they're not. They're the Mitt Romney of Girl Scout Cookies. There's not much to criticize about them. It's just really difficult to get super excited about a boring version of what's already a boring type of cookie.

5. Do-Si-Dos - These remind me of those cheap peanut butter cracker sandwiches, but sweeter. There's a nice patty of peanut butter inside, resulting in that thick ol' mess in your mouth, which to you is either a good or bad thing, depending on your peanut butter preferences.

Do-Si-Dos are pretty good, but have no replay value. With some cookies, you eat one and want to binge the hell out of them. I've rarely been compelled to gorge myself on Do-Si-Dos. They have a low ceiling, like listening to a Phillip Phillips song. Sure, it was nice that one time, but then you're never excited it hear "Home" again.

4. Savannah Smiles - I'm angry at this cookie, and not even because it's bad. I would actually prefer that this cookie could be terrible, just so I could throw them at my co-workers to annoy them.

I'm angry at this cookie like a teacher watching a talented student putz his or her way through school. "You could go to college, Savannah Smiles. You just need to apply yourself!"

At first glance, it looks like another cookie misfit. They're crunchy. They're covered in this dumb layer of powdered sugar. They also explode in your mouth like a bag of flour bursting open on the floor.

If you pop the whole thing in your mouth, contain the blast zone, and get past that lemony tartness, there's this really nice lemon/citrus/buttery sweetness that makes you want to grab another one. And then your hands get coated in powdered sugar again.

3. Samoas - Oh Samoas, we'll forever be at odds.

The texture of this cookie is the best, with the caramel chewiness holding it all together, that nice chocolate sweetness, that crunch -- good stuff.

But then there's that coconut. I hate coconut. I don't understand the appeal. It's like Pitbull: It comes from the tropics, shows up in random places where it doesn't belong and ruins otherwise decent music/cookies (OK fine, there was no saving "Timber.")

However, Samoas gets a solid bump because I know I'm weird on coconut. If you like coconut, then this is your cookie. However, that doesn't excuse the fact that you only get 15 in a box.

2. Tagalongs - It is here that all logic goes out the window. I stand here ready to defend Tagalongs to the bitter end. I feel the same way about Tagalongs that I do about Taco Bell. Is it great? No. Is it good? In spots. How do I respond to people that talk smack about it? Fisticuffs.

Tagalongs are OK. The chocolate is actually pretty weak, with the peanut butter taking everything over, very rich and chewy once the full thing gets going.

But it's not the taste that makes these great, it's the texture and open-ended nature of the cookie.

The dual-layered soft-crunchy texture makes this the Cheesy Gordita Crunch of cookies. I'm a sucker for things that have a crunchy thing wrapped inside of a soft thing. It's the reason that I'm such a proponent of the toast sandwich. That peanut butter-to-cookie crunch is divine.

Eating a Tagalong is a lot like eating a Pop-Tart or Reese's Peanut Butter Cup, open for interpretation and creativity (I eat Pop-Tarts like a crazy person). It's like a cookie Rorshach Test. Do you just bite down on it? Do you try to isolate the peanut butter warhead from the rest of the chocolate covered package? Does the peanut butter go on top or on the bottom when you bite down? (The bottom. Always the bottom.) Tagalongs are a cookie playground.

1. Thin Mints - There's no touching the flavor of Thin Mints, with that cool chocolate/mint flavor (like an Andes mint) on point. Thin Mints also have the best texture, short of Samoa, with the body of the cookie being made up of a million little layers, resulting in an awesome wafery flakiness.

Those are great. But what makes Thin Mints the greatest cookie is the staying power. After you eat one Samoa or Tagalong, you need to stay mindful of the box's 15-cookie capacity. For Thin Mints, there's always that extra sleeve.

Thin Mints are meant to be gorged. I don't have the box on me, but I'm pretty sure a serving size is "one tower of cookies." Eating other cookies is nice. Eating Thin Mints is an escape, a trip into your personal chocolate-and-mint Narnia.

Afterglow

Have you ever been properly satisfied with the amount of Girl Scout Cookies you've eaten? Me neither. Afterglow grade: One Hungry Hungry Hippos commercial.

The Final Word

When my bias against coconut became open knowledge in the office, my cookie-ranking credentials were immediately called into question (I'm surprised it took so long). As a result, we opened it up to an office poll (more on that in a bit).

Note to readers: if you purchase something through one of our affiliate links we may earn a commission.